Funny Computer Jokes

Funny Computer Jokes

You’re welcome to this website. I have brought a collection of Funny Computer Jokes. We all love computer whether it may be Apple or Windows. I’m aware of some of the drawbacks of each manufacturing companies. These jokes and humorous stories are just for fun and laughter. Don’t take it seriously friends if you are a great lover of Windows computers. So, let’s read some Funny Computer Jokes.

Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting around playing on the Internet, you’ll be fat and useless when you grow up.

Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!

A: Why can’t cats work on the computer?

B: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

A: What do computers eat when they get hungry?

B: Chips.

A: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

B: Can’t be done. It’s a hardware problem.

A: How does Bill Gates get fresh air into his mansion?

B: One click on an icon and a window opens!

I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant “I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it’s got to be simple enough for his father to play, too.”

A: Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

B: Well, dear… Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with “Please wait while your computer shuts down”…

A: What does a baby computer call his father?

B: Data!

Programmer’s girlfriend: “Are you going to sit and type in front of that thing all day or are you going out with me?”

Programmer: “Yes.”

Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood. (Hint: F1! = Help!)

A: What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
B: An URLologist.

8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks “What will it be?” One of them says, “Make us a double.”

A: Why did the computer keep sneezing?

B: It had a virus!

A: What creature has the best aptitude for engineering?

B: The spider — It has its own website.

While my next door neighbor, Ian, was tapping away on his home computer, his seven-year-old son, Nathan, sneaked up behind him.

Then Nathan turned and ran downstairs into the kitchen, bellowing to the rest of the family, ‘I know Daddy’s password! I know Daddy’s password!

”What is it?’ Mia, his elder sister asked gently but eagerly.

Proudly Nathan shouted, ‘It’s asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.’

A: What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?

B: The car salesman can probably drive!

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.

She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”

The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”

And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”

Ricky, a customer, visits PC Express, the computer store, ‘I’m looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.’

‘Well,’ replies the shop assistant, ‘Have you tried Windows Vista?’

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